By Susan DeMari

When considering a topic for my new Jewish Thought, I was repeatedly drawn to a heartfelt saying etched in a dish atop my dresser—a cherished gift from a dear friend: “Good Friends Know Your Stories, Great Friends Help You Write Them.” I have since come to appreciate how deeply Jewish tradition values the benefits of friendship. Who knew? As Ecclesiastes states, “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him that is alone when he falls, for he has not another to help him up” (4:9-10).

Friendship transcends geographical, cultural, and religious boundaries. Within Judaism, it carries unique significance, shaped by centuries of history, persecution, and an enduring emphasis on community. Examining Jewish friendships means considering not only personal bonds but also the broader sense of communal security these relationships foster.

The connection between Jewish friendships and security remains vital today. Rising antisemitism, political tensions, and economic instability continue to challenge Jewish communities. Have you ever considered how trust, protection, and mutual care intertwine to build and maintain these essential connections? Through my rose-colored glasses, Jewish friendships and the security they provide are inseparable. When we look at our Jewish Community Centers, Houses of Worship, and agencies, we witness these bonds daily—especially in our partnerships with law enforcement, who work to protect us and share intelligence to keep our community safe. Over the years, many of them have become our ‘friends.’

As Jews, we have faced discrimination, forced exile, and violence. Yet, in the face of external threats, Jewish friendships act as a safety net. Here in Buffalo, our concept of communal security has been strengthened by the trusted relationships we have built with law enforcement. Given our history, the need for solidarity and mutual support is amplified by the ever-present awareness of external threats. Jewish Buffalo is more secure because of these friendships. They help us share stories of resilience and ensure our freedom to openly embrace our Jewish identity.

Jewish teachings emphasize emet (truth) in relationships. The role of Jewish friendships in communal security provides comfort in challenging times, reminding us that we are part of a larger, supportive network.

The next time you see an officer working to keep us safe, consider offering a simple “Thank you” for knowing our story and standing beside us as we continue writing this chapter of our Jewish journey—strong, united, and secure.

Susan DeMari is Director of Community Security for The Buffalo Jewish Federation.