By Rabbi Sara Rich

“What is on your wishlist this holiday season?” This is a question that I encounter seemingly every time I scan through the emails in my inbox, visit a retail website, or see an ad playing before a video. The question is posed to us to make us focus on what we lack. What are the items that, if only we had them, would make us happier, more fashionable, more fit, more comfortable, etc.? It’s a great question to ask if you are a company trying to get people to shop, because we can usually think of something that we can wish for that we could purchase for ourselves or ask for as a gift.

In Vayetzei, the Torah portion this week, Jacob offers his wishlist to God. Jacob is on a journey. He has left his home to seek a wife from Paddan-Aram, where his mother Rebecca was raised. He stops along the way to rest, placing a rock beneath his head, and has a vivid dream of angels ascending and descending from a ladder. In his dream, he strongly feels the presence of God, and awakens full of awe. Jacob is moved to worship and builds a small altar for God using the rock that served as his pillow during his dream-filled sleep.

Jacob then makes a vow, pledging, “If God remains with me, protecting me on this journey that I am making, and giving me bread to eat and clothing to wear, and I return safe to my father’s house—the Eternal shall be my God. And this stone, which I have set up as a pillar, shall be God’s abode; and of all that You give me, I will set aside a tithe for You.”

Overcome with gratitude and hope, Jacob spiritually dedicates himself to God and to his journey. Jacob’s wishlist to God is simple: God’s presence, God’s protection, food, clothing, and a safe return home.

We might wonder, why does Jacob stop there? Why not ask for even more while he is making his vow? Surely some more camels and designer leather sandals would be nice! Rabbenu Bachya, a medieval Spanish Torah commentator, teaches that righteous individuals, like Jacob, are limited in what they ask from God. He writes, “They are only allowed to pray for necessities, the definition being things which a human being cannot do without.” The righteous are satisfied with minimal possessions and choose to focus instead on their actions.

We hear a similar idea expressed in the book of Proverbs 15:16-17:

“Better a little with fear of GOD
Than great wealth with confusion.

Better a meal of vegetables where there is love
Than a fattened ox where there is hate.”

While for me, a meal of vegetables is quite luxurious, I understand the point. A wishlist of the essentials is shorter and easier to fulfill. Once we can check off that we have what we need, we can shift our focus to ensuring that others are similarly secure. If our wishlist is long, and we are constantly thinking of what else we could put on it, then we will never feel satisfied, and we might fail to see the capacity that we have to fulfill the needs of others.  

There is an irony about the timing of Thanksgiving, immediately before the month that marks the peak of consumerism in our country. We give thanks for what we have—then rush to buy more.  Jacob’s actions in the parasha (Torah portion) this week can inspire us to diminish some of this irony. Let us use Thanksgiving as a time to focus on the essentials, and reevaluate what we think we need. When we count our blessings, we see that our list of necessities isn’t as long as we previously thought, and we can turn our attention to those who lack the basics. We can help God fulfill the hopes of those in need by being generous with our tzedakah during this season. May we strive to be among the righteous, satisfied with what we have, and ready to act on behalf of others.

Rabbi Sara Rich serves as Senior Rabbi of Temple Beth Tzedek and Senior Jewish Educator for the Buffalo Jewish Federation.