This summer Jewish Buffalo will open its arms to welcome two families who have been displaced from their kibbutz on the Gazan border since the horrific attack by Hamas on October 7.  Eight members of this Kibbutz, Nir Yitzhak, were killed that day and 5 more were taken as hostages. The devastation to this community has weighed heavily on these families.

They arrive in Buffalo this Sunday morning, and the four weeks they will stay in our community are designed to provide them with respite and a sense of normalcy, as they have not been able to return to their homes and have been living in a cramped hotel outside the city of Eilat.

This is a gift to them but even more so a gift to us, as it provides us with an opportunity to do something of meaning for our collective Jewish family.

As we consider how the world has changed since 10/7, our sights are now set to this coming October, when we observe the first anniversary of the attack.

The question before us is:

• How do we remember that day and commemorate the lives lost? 
• How do we mark a moment in time that was horrific, tragic, and deeply personal?

As Jews we understand tragedy: October 7th, sadly, was not a first for our people.  We also understand the practice of mourning as it’s embedded in our tradition when we observe the Yahrzeit of loved ones who have passed. 

What do we do to remember them?  We….

• Light a candle. 
• Give Tzedekah in their memory. 
• Visit their graves. 
• Say the Kaddish.

As a people, we have also come together to observe mass or communal loss – we have Yom Hashoah each spring to commemorate the six million who were murdered in the Holocaust.  In addition to lighting six candles to remember the dead, we recount stories of those who survived and as HERO – our local Holocaust education organization – did this May, we recall the heroism of those who saved Jews as righteous among the nations. 

In Israel, on Yom HaZikaron  – the day each spring of national remembrance to commemorate all the soldiers and people who lost their lives during the struggle to defend the State of Israel – sirens are sounded at 8 pm throughout the State. As soon as the siren is heard, Israeli citizens stop whatever they’re doing, wherever they are, and stand firm to honor those they’ve lost. Even those who are driving on highways stop their cars in the middle of the road to get out and stand in remembrance. 

These are helpful frameworks – but the question remains, how should we, as a people, and for us as a community in Western New York, observe the yahrzeit of 1189 Israelis brutally murdered on a single day, the 325 IDF soldiers who have died since, and the hundreds who remain in captivity?

Interestingly, in Israel the government unanimously voted to observe the 10/7 Memorial Day on the Hebrew calendar rather than the Gregorian One: meaning the Jewish state will observe the anniversary on the 24th of Tishrei which falls on October 26.  

For many, not observing the memorial on October 7 is problematic, but I think it may be, without realizing it, an opportunity for us to fully embrace the moment of remembering.

One of the other elements of Jewish mourning with which we are familiar – is shiva. It is 30 days of mourning when family and friends gather to provide comfort to the mourners. 

Shiva gives us breathing room and space; we are meant to take our time to process what we’ve lost.  Not in days but weeks. 

So perhaps there is something that we can build upon between the dates of October 7 and October 26.  Three weeks that may give us:

• Time to remember by lighting a candle for the victims or sharing their names through social media or when we gather as a community.
• Reciting prayers to give strength to the survivors and those who still mourn.
• Telling stories of those who encountered the evil of Hamas and survived.
• Calling out the bravery of the IDF, comprised mostly of reservists, who without equivocation, bear arms to defend the Jewish homeland.
• Expressing gratitude for the heroes of that day who saved their friends and neighbors.
• Reminding the world that there are 120 individuals still unaccounted for, having been abducted and taken to Gaza.

And most of all, perhaps whatever day we decide to remember, we take our lead from the way in which we Jews have always remembered – by celebrating the lives lived and less on the way in which those lives ended. 

As we pause next October to remember, may we marvel at our strength and resilience, and our collective hope, as we do every time we sing Hatikva, Israel’s national anthem, 

Our hope is not yet lost,
The hope that is two-thousand years old,
To be a free nation in our land,
The Land of Zion, Jerusalem.

Rob Goldberg is the CEO of the Buffalo Jewish Federation.