By Zavaha Fried
We are now about two weeks into the month of Elul – the Jewish month that precedes Tishrei where our high holidays fall. We take this month to begin the process of reflection and recalling the bright moments, and the not so bright moments, of this past year. Whereas Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are the stark days of retribution and justice where we seem to be on a strict deadline for repentance, Elul seems to me to be a bit softer. Softer, gently persistent, like the sweet Jewish guilt trips from a Bubbe saying such classic lines as: “Oh, so now you call…”
It is also during these weeks of Elul that we are privy to Moses final speeches to the children of Israel. Each one of these reminders come with some Jewish guilt, or at least the biblical version of Jewish guilt, which is more of a clear boundary versus a Bubbe’s loving and well-meaning chastisement. But this week’s Torah portion, Ki Tisa, is different. This is one out of two portions that contains the Tochacha which Chazal (the rabbis of Talmudic and Mishnaic times) say is so terrifying that one should avoid receiving the honor (perhaps dishonor, in this case) of the aliyah. I like to think that the Tochacha is Bubbe’s Jewish guilt on steroids. It is customary to recite the contents of the Tochacha under one’s breath and as quickly as possible because we want to get it over with as fast as possible. Just when you think the curses of the Tochacha cannot get any worse, Moses relays perhaps the worst threat that G-d could make to the Jewish people: “And the Lord will bring you back to Egypt in ships, through the way about which I had said to you, You will never see it again. And there, you will seek to be sold to your enemies for slaves and handmaids, but there will be no buyer.” If the Jews do not abide by the law, not only will they be unable to enter Israel, but they will also be returned to Egypt to become slaves again. To add insult to injury, they are so downtrodden that no one wants them – not even their former captors. This is biblical rock-bottom.
Thankfully, there is good news: there is one more aliyah following the Tochacha. It is in this seventh aliyah that Moses says something immensely comforting: “Yet to this day, G-d has not given you a mind to understand or eyes to see or ears to hear.” From the simplest reading of this statement, we learn something critical: every law, every blessing, every curse – including the Tochacha – which was proclaimed in our Torah until this very moment, was not truly understood by the Jewish people. Rashi, the medieval Torah scholar, comments that this phrase demonstrates that up until this moment not only were the Jewish people unable to understand the consequences of their actions, but they were also unable to know the true loving-kindness of the Divine. Until this moment, they did not know true love.
Unlike our ancestors, I hope that we don’t need to hear the darkest of curses to be reminded of the consequences of our actions. Rather, as we navigate through the rest of Elul, I think it is best to look at our misdeeds and not picture a vengeful G-d. Instead, let’s envision a Bubbe saying: “Oh, so now you call- well, at least you called.” At least we are trying. At least we are acknowledging the ways where we slipped up and how we are trying to grow. Perhaps picking up the phone and calling your Bubbe is a good place to start.
Zahava Fried is the Manager of Young Family Engagement for the Buffalo Jewish Federation, Cantorial Intern at Temple Beth Tzedek, and a Cantorial student at The Academy for Jewish Religion. You can often find her wearing her multiple hats while drinking coffee with the true love of her life, Yaakov, and their daughters Lilah and Serafina.
