By Ezra N. Rich
As we enter 2025 and put away our menorah and Hanukkah Judaica, we find ourselves still in the cold, dark winter as we seek light and warmth to sustain us in the months ahead.
In this week’s parasha (Torah portion) of Vayigash, we are told of a brotherly reunion unlike any other, one where Yosef (Joseph) reveals himself to his brothers, forgives them, and sets the stage for the family’s move from Canaan to Egypt.
The powerful dialogue includes: “And Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, ‘Have everyone withdraw from me!’ So, there was no one else about when Joseph made himself known to his brothers” (Gen. 45:1). In the ensuing verses, Joseph reveals himself to his stunned brothers and then reassures and rebukes them for selling him into slavery, and inquiries about the welfare of his beloved father, Yaakov (Jacob).
A Private Audience
One telling observation on this opening line is from the Torah commentator, Meshech Chochmah (Rabbi Meir Simcha HaKohen of Dvinsk, 1843-1926), who writes, “The Torah implies that Joseph made every effort to restrain himself but he failed to do so. He wanted to reveal himself after the dream of the sun and the moon bowed down to him, but he took pity on them. Considering all the high-profile people in the room, he couldn’t bring himself to embarrass his brothers publicly. He realized that if the truth came out, it would be he—Joseph—who would be considered by the Egyptians as heartless.”
While other commentators believe that Joseph sent out the other people from the room before revealing himself to avoid the Egyptians knowing he’d been sold into slavery, the Meshech Chochmah sees this behavior in line with Judaism’s strong aversion to publicly embarrassing someone. As the Talmud famously warns us, “One who humiliates another in public has no share in the World to Come” (Bava Metzia 59a).
Inner Strength
Reflecting further on Joseph’s character in this powerful moment, Rabbi Dr. Tzvi Hersh Weinreb writes in The Person in the Parsha, “[Joseph] came to forgive his brothers because of two fundamental aspects of his personality: his emotional sensitivity and his religious ideology.” He notes that Joseph’s emotions are noted in the text throughout these interactions with his brothers, and that his faith is reflected in how he forgives his brothers and sees the harm that they caused him as part of G-d’s plan. Many of us can respect the level of self-awareness and faith that Joseph expresses by his behavior. It is a high bar for one to emulate.
While we all have painful encounters and relationships that are challenged, Joseph’s reaction to his difficult journey reminds me of the powerful message championed by the late Holocaust Survivor, Dr. Viktor Frankl; “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” In other words, the only thing we can truly control is how we react to our situation.
With 2025 underway, may we use these darker days to examine our inner light. In the months ahead, may we take the high road and find the inner strength to stay on our sacred path.
Ezra N. Rich is a member of the Buffalo Jewish Federation Board of Governors and Chair of its Israel & Overseas Committee. He also is the Co-Chair of Temple Beth Tzedek’s Youth Education Committee.
